Life on The EdgeXD

Okay, I’ll admit it: Having a video game arcade on a porn site may have been one of our more counter-intuitive moves. The prevailing wisdom for many years was that video games targeted the under-18 demographic, which would of course place it polar opposite the EdgeXD space. But we wanted to create an atmosphere in our online “Lounge” area that was fun and casual, with a culture that embraced but also extended beyond the high-tech pornography which is the site’s hallmark. That’s why we added the articles, and, specifically to this screed, the video arcade.

We’ve since learned that – according to a poll conducted by Ipsos MediaCT for game industry trade group the Entertainment Software Association – the median age for video game players is 35. Nice how that worked out. (We like to do the research after we spend thousands of dollars in implementation; it gives EdgeXD our patented patina of unpredictability, and our bizdev guys migraines.)

The games in the EdgeXD Arcade aren’t multi-player (yet), nor are they designed to be “immersive” beyond distracting you from the crappy cup of coffee you just picked up from the deli. They’re casual pursuits, time-wasters with a twist. And that twist is, of course, nakedness.

We’ve got some great stuff, most of which required some exceptional coordination amongst our video producers and game developers. “Spanktravision,” for example, amps up the jigsaw puzzles you enjoyed at your Daddy’s knee, replacing those static Monets and fruit baskets with moving sex videos. In a similar vein, our “Sex on the Brain” is an edgier version of the game “Concentration,” where instead of matching pictures of blue elephants and green crocodiles you need to remember which naked woman is hiding where. In fact, none of our games are particularly difficult in concept – it’s just that all the beautiful women in their birthday suits make for rather unfair distractions. How, for example, does anyone complete even an “easy” sudoku puzzle while Tera Patrick disrobes next to the grid? That’s the premise behind our “Sudoku Sluts Gone Wild.” And who better to play against in a topless version of tic tac toe then the incredible, unsinkable, Jamie Hammer? We even have our own online poker game going 24/7, starring Rachel Roxx as the clothes-challenged croupier. When the House provides both the chips AND the stripper, how can you go wrong?

Most elaborate is “Pimp Daddy Road Rage,” our post-GTA Galaga riff with a socially redeeming value in the low negative numbers. And we’ve got a first-person shooter, after a fashion, in the form of “Red Light Photo District.” In this game, subscribers get to play the role of a voyeur armed with a telephoto lens. Beats the hell out of playing a Space Marine with a BFG, and you never lose any life points.

None of these are likely to dethrone World of Warcraft in the Internet game arena anytime soon, but that’s not what we set out to accomplish. With the EdgeXD video arcade, we wanted to create a game room just around the way from the main bar and grill, a place where beer pong and nok hockey might provide a brief retreat from the serious business of skirt-chasing.

And as usual, we succeeded.